Advertisement
WARNING - SPOILERS FOLLOW
If you want to watch the movie "Troy" and be at all surprised, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!!
OKAY?
DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
FINE.
Okay, so I really don't want to go into some bit prose heavy post about what I did and didn't like about the movie "Troy", so here's a concise list:
Things I Didn't Like -
1. Denial of Achilles as a King in his own right (incorrect).
2. Suggestion of a unified Greek nation (incorrect).
3. Age discrepancies with characters as portrayed in mythology (awkward).
4. Patroclos is Achilles' cousin (incorrect).
5. Hector is complicit in the abduction of Helen (incorrect).
6. Briseis is a Trojan (incorrect).
7. Odysseus (and Thetis, inadvertently) persuade Achilles to go to Troy.
8. Hector kills Ajax (incorrect).
9. Hector kills Menelaus (incorrect).
10. Seige of Troy lasts about two weeks rather than ten years (incorrect).
11. No mention of Hecuba (rude).
12. Achilles lives to see the fall of Troy (incorrect).
13. Agammemnon killed by Briseis (ridiculous and incorrect).
14. Achilles killed NOT by one poisoned arrow in the heel, but by one in the heel followed by three or four to the chest (incorrect).
15. The insinuated escape from Troy NOT ONLY of Aeneas (which would be correct, if alone) but of Helen, Paris, Andromache, Astyanax, and as many other Trojans as could make it out the "secret tunnel"...yeah, right (in-fucking-correct).
Things about Troy that I liked, that were consistent with the mythology -
1. Achilles is a bad ass.
2. Hector is a bad ass.
3. The relationship between Hector and Andromache is handled very well (which is important).
Things about "Troy" that I liked, that were NOT consistent with the mythology -
1. Handling of the "gods".
2. Handling of the final battle between Hector and Achilles (the real setpiece of the film, which is EXCELLENT) which gives far more respect to Hector's bravery than Homer does.
Well, there it is. That's how I feel about it. Overall, I got a kick out of the movie ('cause I've got a pretty serious hard-on for Ancient and Archaic Greece), but I do feel that it could have been better.
Hollywood DOES need to pull their collective head out of their ass and hire me, already.
Seriously, folks: I'm a fucking expert.
Really.
I am.
If you want to watch the movie "Troy" and be at all surprised, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!!!
OKAY?
DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
FINE.
Okay, so I really don't want to go into some bit prose heavy post about what I did and didn't like about the movie "Troy", so here's a concise list:
Things I Didn't Like -
1. Denial of Achilles as a King in his own right (incorrect).
2. Suggestion of a unified Greek nation (incorrect).
3. Age discrepancies with characters as portrayed in mythology (awkward).
4. Patroclos is Achilles' cousin (incorrect).
5. Hector is complicit in the abduction of Helen (incorrect).
6. Briseis is a Trojan (incorrect).
7. Odysseus (and Thetis, inadvertently) persuade Achilles to go to Troy.
8. Hector kills Ajax (incorrect).
9. Hector kills Menelaus (incorrect).
10. Seige of Troy lasts about two weeks rather than ten years (incorrect).
11. No mention of Hecuba (rude).
12. Achilles lives to see the fall of Troy (incorrect).
13. Agammemnon killed by Briseis (ridiculous and incorrect).
14. Achilles killed NOT by one poisoned arrow in the heel, but by one in the heel followed by three or four to the chest (incorrect).
15. The insinuated escape from Troy NOT ONLY of Aeneas (which would be correct, if alone) but of Helen, Paris, Andromache, Astyanax, and as many other Trojans as could make it out the "secret tunnel"...yeah, right (in-fucking-correct).
Things about Troy that I liked, that were consistent with the mythology -
1. Achilles is a bad ass.
2. Hector is a bad ass.
3. The relationship between Hector and Andromache is handled very well (which is important).
Things about "Troy" that I liked, that were NOT consistent with the mythology -
1. Handling of the "gods".
2. Handling of the final battle between Hector and Achilles (the real setpiece of the film, which is EXCELLENT) which gives far more respect to Hector's bravery than Homer does.
Well, there it is. That's how I feel about it. Overall, I got a kick out of the movie ('cause I've got a pretty serious hard-on for Ancient and Archaic Greece), but I do feel that it could have been better.
Hollywood DOES need to pull their collective head out of their ass and hire me, already.
Seriously, folks: I'm a fucking expert.
Really.
I am.
posted by:
|
Los Angeles
|
Advertisement
Advertisement
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Mon, May 24, 2004 - 3:40 PMI have to agree with a lot of what you are saying, but the problem with making a movie about Greek mythology (or writing a textbook on it, for that matter) is that there are many versions of the same story. Take the "Achilles Heel" for example. That part of his story is not in Homer, but in later Roman epic and poetry like Statius. I guess if I were to make a movie on Troy, I would preface it somehow by saying that I'm using the Latin "Little Iliad" rather than Homer. The bottom line is that except for a small group of the movie-watching public, no one cares.
And about "archaeological consultants." I am a personal friend of the consultant for Gladiator. After seeing the movie, I kidded with her about the inconsistencies and anachronisms. As a professor at Harvard, there is no way she would have suggested to the Hollywood people that they put a bust of Septimius Severus in the tent of M. Aurelius. They consulted with her, she gave her advice, and they made the movie the way they wanted. I'm glad they did because even though Commodus had no beard, I like looking at Joaquin Phoenix's repaired harelip and I like extravagant costumes and "incorrect" makeup. -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Mon, May 24, 2004 - 4:04 PM"Troy" attempted to encompass a good deal of the war, and the background to the war, beyond direct reference to Homer. My problems were more with things that were either directly in conflict with the canon, or merely defied sense and/or lacked purpose.
That said, I still got a kick out of the picture.
-
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Tue, May 25, 2004 - 9:30 AMHere is a review of the movie from Archaeology Magazine. Ugh, I had forgotten about the anachronistic coins.
www.archaeology.org/online/r...ndex.html -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Mon, May 31, 2004 - 8:42 AMOkay, Joe & I finally saw Troy yesterday, and I'm sure he's going to make a much longer post later today (if the 2 translation of the Iliad here on the desk are any indication, plus the websites that were up on armory of the era). So I won't steal his thunder--he's the one with the big ancient Greek hard-on (mmm, sounds nice), it's not his fault I'm an earlier riser.
I will say it's a good thing we saw the movie at a matinee in a virtually empty theater because although I had tried to make him promise he wouldn't yell corrections at the screen, in fact we were both hooting and hollering at various moments (like, Priam basically admitting after Hector's death that he has no son, Troy is gone. I mean, it's true given Paris's character, but it was still pretty funny.) Plus, given that Joe is much more knowlegeable than I, I kept poking him and asking stuff like, "That shield formation wasn't used at that time, was it?" In a full theater, if I was a person sitting near us, I'd have been quite cross.
Finally, okay, I'm no expert on architecture or fashion, or battle formations. I'm pretty sure there should have been a slightly higher percentage of swarthy folks to blue-eyed blondes, but whatever. But there's just one thing I'm really perplexed by . . . in our first look inside the walls of Troy, inside a marketplace, we see the good citizens scampering about with children and goats and Joe and I are both really pretty darn sure we saw . . . a llama!?!?!?!? -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Mon, May 31, 2004 - 11:03 AMI myself was highly amused by the Myrmidon use of a Roman testudo shield formation (nice catch).
The llama was a Monty Python reference, I'm sure.
Greek hard-on? Early riser? You're incorrigible! (...and I do hope you "keep it up"...) -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Mon, June 7, 2004 - 1:20 PMIt did look like I was sitting down to write a paper, then I remembered the paper that I was supposed to be writing, damn.
Anywho, I thought the movie was highly successful– as a comedy. The llama's the tip-off. I'm imagining some Kon-Tiki types sailing across the Atlantic, with a llama wedged in there with them. (Llama's, if you don't know share same disposition as all camelids, ever pet a camel?) -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Tue, June 15, 2004 - 10:26 AMOf course I think its hilarious everytime I see Tarzan on an Indian elephant (which is mostly, as getting on an african elephant takes a whole 'nother kind of balls). -
-
Re: Fuckin' wit da classics (or, My issues with "Troy") - WARNING - SPOILERS!!!
Fri, July 2, 2004 - 6:39 PMOk, now that I've decompressed from the last quarter, I could actually write said paper, but I've lost the angry.
I will say this though--I missed the gods. My favorite thing in the entire myth-cycle (I gotta get me one of them) is how the driving force of all events is found in the small-minded, petty bickering of so called superior beings.
And I can't believe they knocked off the Atreids (thanks Patrick, for the spoiler, I think my head would have exploded when Menelaos died, had I not been forewarned), I mean what about the franchise. Of course, I can see these guys making an Odyssey with no mention of Aggy's homecoming (and hence, no telemachus?), although the idea sets me spinning in my grave.
The anachronism that annoyed me most was the infliction of Romantic Love (Campbell style) into the story. The whole wrong armor, wrong army, wrong tactics thing bugged me less but I do wonder why they didn't just do it right. My guess is the ghost of cecil B. made 'em do it, thousand ships indeed. The architecture was just funny, fuckin' multiple personality disorder. And since I once had a good professor whose expertise was in textiles, I couldn't help but notice what finely woven and Colorful were those in the movie. The horse just sucked.
I did enjoy the crack about what a slow sailor Odysseus is, and his return quip about not minding being late to a battle as long as he was thare at the end. Fucking hilarious.
So I guess the best thing that could be said about this movie is, maybe because of it, some kids will read the Illiad. It got me to reread it but I'm sort of a pathological reader anyway. The Bay Guardian summed it up best: Inspired by the Illiad? This day and age, what isn't.
-
-
-
-
-
